It’s not okay. It’s not fine.

There was a time I was in the hospital and could not stop having non-epileptic seizures. In this particular season of my life, we were 6 months into an illness that was only getting progressively worse without any answers. In an effort to keep me calm, my Mom looked at me and with all the compassion and strength she could muster, she squeezed my hand and reassured me it was okay. But in that moment, it was very much not okay, and I tearfully cry-yelled back that it was not okay. With our eyes locked, my Mom realized what I’d said was true and she echoed back to me that I was right and it wasn’t okay.

That was the day I took my power back.

Hands up if you are always okaying away things in an effort to gloss over the awkward discomfort that often comes when we call someone out.

It’s not okay.

It’s not fine.

So stop saying it is.

Stop speaking in code and then getting disappointed people don’t ever really step up, apologize, and change.

If someone has hurt you, it’s not your job to make them feel better. It’s not helping anyone become better by not holding people accountable. Their inability to accept responsibility is not your problem, but it becomes yours when you okay it away.

If it’s really not okay, stop saying it is.